Anushthi

It has been a year. A year since that day that changed something inside me forever. A year since an ordinary day turned into something I never imagined I would have to live through. I still find it difficult to call it just an accident. For me, it was a tragedy. A moment that divided my life into two parts: the life before that day and the life after it. Before the accident, life felt permanent. I worried about work, career, money, relationships, the future, and all the little things that seemed so important at the time. I complained about ordinary problems without realizing how lucky I was to have ordinary problems to complain about. Then, in a matter of seconds, everything changed . Suddenly, I found myself surrounded by doctors, medicines, machines, reports, hospital rooms and people constantly asking how I was feeling. My world became smaller than I had ever imagined. There was a bed, a room, a few familiar faces and an endless cycle of medicines, tests, consultations and waiti...

देखी मैंने तुम दोनों की तस्वीर, साथ में तुम दोनों मुझे बहुत ही जंचते हुए लगे। खुशी तुम्हारे चेहरे पर झलक रही थी, और वो तुम्हारे पीछे छुपी,  तुमसे थोड़ी-सी छोटी, ब्लैक ड्रेस में, तुम्हारे साथ साथ मुझे भी प्यारी-सी लगी। आगे खड़े तुम, ब्लैक टी-शर्ट में,  उसका साथ देते बहुत प्यारे लगे। उस तस्वीर को युही निहारतीं रही,  हाँ, बिल्कुल बिना रोए... उसके बाद घंटों खुद को भी शीशे में निहारा,  वजहें भी एक-एक करके मिलती गईं,  जो सवाल कभी मैं तुमसे पूछती थी। फिर किनारा करती गई मैं तुमसे।

Do you remember the date?  The hour sun dipped low in the mid-afternoon sky, When you left me — not in steps,  But in silence,  Like a ghost who never meant to say goodbye.  You called — Not to explain,  Not to hold my shaking voice,  But to leave…  And left me drowning  In the ocean of a reason you never gave.  I was crying —  You were listening —  And that was all.  No comfort.  No closure.  Just the echo of a breath that once meant home.  You shattered me like light through stained glass, Beautiful once,  now broken in colorless pain.  Since then, I have forgotten who I was —  a name without meaning,  A soul without skin.  I still search for fault in whispers,  Trace it in the mirror,  But it vanishes with every tear.  I write this not to bring you back —  You’re long gone in ways I can't unfeel —  But to remind you:  Your leaving never left.  It live...

कभी कभी ना बहुत याद आते हो तुम कसम से सोचती हूं अगर हम साथ होते तो कैसा होता ? हाँ छोटी छोटी बातों पर झगड़ते, बहस करते, एक दूसरे को मारने दौड़ते पर मुझे यकीन है अपनी टूटी फूटी आवाज में गाने गा के तुम मुझे मना लेते जिंदगी रोज मेरे सामने एक नया सवेरा लाती है और उस सवेरे के साथ ही कभी कभी तुम्हारी याद भी आ ही जाती है और सबसे ज्यादा याद तब आती है जब मैं भीड़ में होती हूं क्योंकि तुम्हारे ना होने का अहसास लोगो के होने से कई गुना ज्यादा महसूस होता है तो ज्यादा कुछ नही बस कभी कभी बहुत याद आते हो तुम!

Mera intejaar ab mat karo, mai laut ke nahi aa paunga Jabardasti kab tak roke rakhogi mujhe, jane bhi do ab mujhe Mat mango mujhe aapni in duaon me, vo puri na hue tho takleef tumhe hi hogi Kitne aur aanso mere liye bahaogi, ye jaan ke bhi mujhe farq nahi padta tumhare rone se Ghar ki badi ho tum aapne mera jana bhi sehan kar logi tum Samjo ab tumhare hone ya na hone se mujhe fark nahi padta Ek arsa gujara hai tumahre saath Aasan tumhare liye nahi hai, tho muskil mere liye bhi na karo isko Janta hoon pehli mohabbat ban chuka hoon tumhari Par meri pehli mohabbat koi aur hai, aur vo jagah tum nahi le sakti Janta hoon kuch sapne saja liye hai tumne mere saath Tum bhi samjo un sapno ke liye tumne galat insaan chun liya hai Mai kabhi tumhara nahi ho sakta Mai tumhare hisse ka hoon hi nahi Jinki khawish tum mujhse kar baithi hoon vo nahi ho sakti puri Kab tak yuhi zidd karti rahogii Mai laut ke nahi aa paungaa Koi wapas laut aaya hai Tum uski jagah nahi le sakti par vo tumhari jagah acche le...

Janti hu tum naraj ho mujhse  Tumhe tumhi se mana lu kya?  Kuch tut gaya hai hum dono ke andar  Inn tukdon ko samet kar ek bana du kya?  Haan hai dhage uljhe huye ab bhi  Todh du inhe ya suljha lu kya?  Mana galti na tumhari thi na meri  Mai sari galti kismat ki bata du kya?  Tumhe rokna chahti hu, rok lu kya?  Tum na chodhne ka vada kar paoge kya?  Log kehte hai tu mujh jaise hi hai  Dur ja kar mujhe mujhse hi alag kar doge kya?  Yeh raste alag jarur hai humare  Par kuch der sath mere chaloge kya?  Haan shayad kuch tut gya hai rishte mein hamare  Tum phir se mere sath inn dhago ko siloge kya?  Mai chahti hu tum laut kar aa Jao mere paas  Itni si khwaish puri karegi kya?  Haan kisse bahut se hai jo tujhe sunane hai  Tum baithe ke unhe sunoge kya?  Yaadein bahot hai bas jeene ke liye  Tum nayi yaadein mere sath banaoge kya?  Is baar kabhi na jaane ka wada kar laut aaoge kya? ...

I put my heart in a box  Where it couldn't breathe,  Choking in my own air  And bleeding out sin,  Hanging by a narrow thread  In between life and death,  You ripped it right out of my chest  Kissed it gently and put it back  And somehow it dances  to every cadence of your breathing,  The way you smile slyly  Even after the world let you down a million times  Makes this frozen pain lose its crisp  And slowly fade away,  The silver light on your face  Is the only color I now have left,  Making you the moon to my night sky. ~Anushthi

Together we will create a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no holes punched into the walls so hard that the foundation rocks and cracks.  Our home will be gentle, it will be warm. I will keep you safe and you will keep me still.  No fear, no hurt, no worry. We come from broken and twisted places but together we will build something whole and safe. We will curl around each other like a pair of quotation marks at night, warm and comforted.  In the mornings, you'll sing in the shower again. We will heal, and we will raise a family that doesn't need to heal. ~Anushthi

Take it slow, life sometimes is a rollercoaster ride but rushing always doesn't help you.  Whatever happens in life is meant for a reason, whatever leaves you are making space for the better, and whatever is staying right now is getting better just for you. No matter what happens in life know that you should take things slow to last long.  Growth is a prolonged process, you start a race and you tend to wait to finish it in the next move, you observe things, you gather what's required, you try to understand how to win, and you're set to go.  Healing from things that left you broken is quite a tough job, but it's never impossible. Healing takes time, most of all it requires patience, it requires continuous effort, and care for oneself.  Trust is the major part of any relationship, you could be with someone who doesn't love you because gradually with trust you start to love, but when there's no trust, things fall apart, and everything seems messy and doubtful. Trus...

"ये... ये....ये...तुम यहां क्यों रख रही हो माही?" सागर ने जमीन में एक गुल्लक गाड़ती माही से पूछा। 'एक पन्द्रह सोलह साल का दिखने वाला लड़का था। पर उसकी अक्ल एक सात आठ साल के बच्चे से ज्यादा न थी। "वो इस लिए क्यूंकि इसमें बहुत सारे पैसे हैं। जो अगर बाहर रहे तो कोई भी उन्हे चुरा सकता है। इसलिए मैं इन्हें यहां सेफ कर रही हूं।" माही ने सागर को समझाते हुए कहा और उस गुल्लक के ऊपर मिट्टी डाल कर उसे ढक दिया। "तो अब ये सेफ रहेंगे? कोई इन्हें यहां से नहीं निकालेगा?" सागर फिर से एक नया सवाल दाग दिया। "नही...क्योंकि इस बात का सिर्फ तुम्हे और मुझे पता है। और मै तो किसी को नही बताऊंगी क्या तुम किसी को बताओगे ये सिक्रेट?" माही ने खड़े होते हुए पूछा। "नही...तुम नही बताओगी तो मैं भी नही बताऊंगा।" सागर ने पक्के पन से कहा। "गुड बॉय । और जब हम दोनो किसी को नही बताएंगे तो कोई इन्हें कभी नहीं निकालेगा। ये यहां सेफ रहेंगे।"माही ने खुश होते कहा । सागर भी मुस्कुरा दिया। माही और सागर बहुत अच्छे दोस्त थे। दोनो के घर आस पास ही थे। सागर एक स्पेशल चाइल्...

Dear queens, You deserve all the love, never settle for anything less. Don't give a 'YES' to something that you're not proud of having it. You are queen for a reason. By queen, i don't mean to rule the world. What i mean is, know your self-worth, know what you're capable of and what you deserve. And according to me, queens like you deserve the heights of sky. Miracles will happen when you will know your worth. Princesses might have wished for something, but queens like you would do your best to achieve it. Dream when you're princess and work on them by being a queen. You are queen even if you don't wear crown full of diamonds. Each girl living in this world is princess and each lady is a queen. You can do anything when you decide to do it.  No one and nothing can stop you. You all deserve to be loved and self-loved.                                             ...

They'll fall inlove with the smallest things about you. The color of your eyes and the way your smile formed. They'll spent days analyzing your facial expressions when you speak, and nights understanding what your text message meant. They'll agonize for hours over why you didn't say hello to them at breakfast, and start to create unrealistic scenarios in their head that you decided you no longer like them. Don't date that one person, because otherwise they'll suffocate you with their care and affection. They'll always want to ask you if you're okay and constantly say that they love you just to hear you say it back to them, and they'll cry, oh dear Lord, will they cry. They'll cry over the way you looked at that other person, or the way your eyes stopped lightning up at the sound of their very own name. They'll cry when you start kissing them like it's your job and touching them like it's a habit. They'll even overthink the fact th...

सफ़र पर निकली हूं उदासी दूर करने की आस में थोड़ी खुशी की तलाश में क़िस्मत से लडने की चाह में मंजिल पाने के जोश में सफ़र पर निकली हूं गलतियों को सुधारने की  कोशिश में बिखरी हुई जिंदगी को समेटने की चाहत में छोटी उम्र में तजुर्बा बढ़ाने की उम्मीद में जिंदगी के हर मोड़ पर सफल होने की आजमाइश में सफ़र पर निकली हूं..!!                                                           ~Anushthi

उदास बैठे थे, छत पे, रात सितारे और मैं बदनाम मुफ्त में हो गये रात सितारे और मैं मजबूर हसते रहे हम युं ही फिर किस्मत पे बस गुनाह ये करते रहे रात सितारे और मैं हर लम्हा एक तेरे बारे में ही तो सोंचते थे हम तलातूम दिल में दबाये थे रात सितारे और मैं आजा के अब रात भी तहलील होनेवाली हैं कब तक तेरा रस्ता देखे रात सितारे और मैं अब ये मय भी काम आती नहीं ग़म भुलाने में दर्द सारे खामोश ही हैं सहते रात सितारे और मैं                                                             ~Anushthi

अगर किताब हूँ मैं तो कोई मुझे दुनिया घूमा दे, मुझे छू के जरा सीने से लगा ले, थोड़ा समय बॉट अपना साथी बना ले, और अगर बनाना है कैदी मुझे तो उस पागल लेखक से कह दे, मुझे जन्म ना दे !! मुझे जन्म ना दे !!                                                                                          ~Anushthi       

पापा मैं आपसे कुछ कहना चाहती हूँ। पापा मैं आपके साथ बैठना चाहती हूँ. आपसे बहुत कुछ कहना चाहती हूँ.. अपने दर्द बयाँ कर रोना चाहती हूँ। पापा मैं आपसे सब सीखना चाहती हूँ जब भी दिल घबराता है.. आप को ही याद करती हूँ.. 'BE STRONG 'पापा है न ये ख्याल आते ही शांत हो जाती हूँ। न आप की बात बुरी लगती है न मैं आपसे लड़ना चाहती हूँ। पापा मैं आप से एक बात कहना चाहती हूँ। मैं कई बार अकेली सा पड़ जाती हूँ.. मैं आप को आवाज़ लगाना चाहती हूँ। पापा मैं आप को बहुत चाहती हूँ हाँ मैं कभी नही बताती.. मगर मैं आप के जैसा बन ना चाहती हूँ। पापा मैं आप से कुछ कहना चाहती हूँ.....!                                                         ~Anushthi

I will not suggest any plan; But I do want to know and understand, How to be strangers again; For people whom you consider Your adored and dear friend; Also acquire immense power; To hurt you and cause you pain! I would rather have polite conversations, Over deep sharing and heart to heart talks, For you never know what misunderstanding, May cause a close friend to turn into a cold rock? Its better to receive A mistaken or meaningless birthday wish; Than to keep glancing over the mobile, wondering If the call has been missed? I really don't mind strangers passing me by, without caring to return my greeting; But its agonising to have a cherished friend ignore my texts, or look the other way to escape my meeting! So someone please tell my dear old soul, That can neither part ways Nor is able to cajole, Its confidante who has Turned away, without citing any reason; Leaving in its footsteps Only torment and heart-burn; How do I turn the clock back in time, when my bosom turned distant ...

दिल कुछ इस तरह टूटा मेरा मेरे साथ मेरे अल्फ़ाज़ भी बिखर गए कुछ पन्नो पे इश्क लिखा तो कुछ पन्नो पे तुम्हारे साथ बिताए हसीन पल तो कुछ पन्नों पर टूटे दिल का जिक्र किया कुछ पन्नों पर तुमसे जुडी कुछ खास यादें लिखीं तो कुछ पन्नों पर सच्ची-झुठी कसमें लिखी तो कुछ पन्नों पर तुम्हारी बातें लिखी अब मैं अल्फाजों से भरी एक किताब हूं।।                                                                               ~Anushthi

I wander through bustling streets, constantly wondering if the echoing winds, will ever whisper about the secret path I often stumble upon in my dreams, where the sky is smudged in hues of the rainbow, where the rocky stream flows in a pace "slow", where I often find the key to all truths of life, where I can fly high  without any fear of falling from  the seven coloured sky with no luck from  the whispering winds, I often return to my safe heaven, but the voice within always says to never stop following the echoing winds..                                                                            ~Anushthi

If spectacles could speak they would talk about how excited they were each time tried on a new face.. And wailed their heart out when they were placed back in that glass box. They looked eagerly at faces, that stared at them, in awe. They fell in love with themselves when they were told how amazing they look. They had their own share of laughter when they made someone look funny. If they could speak, it would be helpful for the ones like me who are forgetful. Each time they were placed outside their box, if they were left on sofa or had somehow slipped under the bed or got lost under the piles of clothes and also at those times they were made to be hair bands and the times they hung by a string on a neck and were forgotten. If they would hear us calling their name, they would screams at the top of their voices. We , the unmindful would find them. If they could speak they would certainly say even at home, ears, for us are safe and all other are risky places. Yes, you can keep me safe in...